Kenyan Politics: A Rollercoaster You Didn’t Sign Up For

By Catherine Olivia

Kenyan politics: it’s like the drama you never asked for, yet somehow it always finds you. It’s not just about policies and manifestos; it’s about handshakes, promises, and political coalitions that make you question if you’re watching a soap opera or a live broadcast. Get your popcorn ready because the political scene in Kenya is more dramatic than a local drama series.

1. The Never-Ending Campaign In Kenya, the campaign season is like a 365-day affair. Politicians are always on the move, whether it’s an election year or not.

There are endless rallies, “free” t-shirts, and promises about building roads, schools, and hospitals—except, some roads are so bad you can’t tell if you’re on a highway or a goat path.

But they’ll keep promising! Election time is like Christmas in Kenya; everyone’s got a new project, a new slogan, and you just know there’s a free lunch somewhere.

2. The Art of the Political "Handshake" If you’ve ever seen a political handshake in Kenya, you know it’s more than just a greeting. It’s a strategic move.

The best part? It’s like watching a thrilling game of chess. Just look at the 2002 handshake between President Kibaki and Raila Odinga—no one saw that coming. Or the famous 2018 handshake between Uhuru Kenyatta and Raila Odinga.

The world stopped for a second because it wasn’t just a handshake; it was a whole political revolution in a handshake. These moments make us question if we should all be learning the art of the handshake for survival.

3. The "Tangible" Promises Politicians in Kenya are experts in making promises that sound so good you’ll think they came straight from Mzee Jomo Kenyatta’s legendary speeches.

“I’ll give you water in every home, light in every village, and jobs for everyone!” Yes, that’s the dream! But when you look around, there’s still that pothole in your street, the same streetlight that hasn’t worked in five years, and don’t even get started on that "job creation" promise. It’s like promising to serve dinner and then handing out recipe books instead.

4. The Love-Hate Relationship with the Opposition Kenya’s political drama wouldn’t be complete without the opposition. It’s like the sibling rivalry that never ends. One minute, they’re working together on a project, the next minute they’re tearing each other apart over who said what and who promised what.

Every time the ruling party does something, you can bet the opposition will have a comment, and sometimes it’s just the best entertainment. Remember the drama around the "handshake" in 2018? You’d think they were exchanging vows. One minute they’re hugging, the next minute they’re accusing each other of betrayal. We love the drama, though.

5. The Coalition Drama Oh, the coalition agreements! Politicians in Kenya are masters at starting alliances and breaking them up faster than you can say "jubilee." You’ve got coalitions that last just long enough to see election results and others that last a few hours.

In 2007, after Raila Odinga and Kibaki’s hard-fought election, it was clear that coalitions are a political necessity—and often, a temporary necessity.

Everyone’s best friend until the results come in, then it’s back to forming new teams and accusing each other of backstabbing.

6. The ‘Deep Thinkers’ Kenyan politicians sometimes say things that make you stop and think, Wait, what did they just say? Some statements sound so profound, they might just be quoted for generations to come… or at least until the next election.

A politician might say something like, "We must plant trees on the moon to create more oxygen for the people of Mars," and we’ll all just nod and smile like we understood it.

It’s either deep wisdom or the kind of thing that makes you wonder if they were distracted during their speech preparation.

Kenyan politics is a whirlwind of promises, handshakes, and alliances that can leave you dizzy. But somehow, it’s what makes this country uniquely ours.

Whether it’s a politician who’s "delivering" on their promises or one who’s holding a press conference to accuse their rival of stealing a goat, we’re here for it. We’ve learned to laugh, cry, and watch the drama unfold.

“Kenya is a beautiful country, but politics? That will keep you on your toes.” – Every Kenyan watching the political drama unfold.